My husband left 10 years ago and is still with the other woman, although they’ve never married.

My son and his fiancée want to get married outdoors, at my ex-husband’s farm.

I told my son that it’d be very difficult for me to attend a wedding there, where the other woman acts as hostess, and considers it "her turf.”

I explained my grief surrounding my marriage break-up, that a wedding’s where a couple makes a commitment to fidelity, something my ex and the girlfriend didn’t respect.

My son was adamant that he wanted to make his dad happy and was callous to how difficult and hurtful it’d be for me.

My immediate family said none of them would be comfortable there either, knowing how much pain the divorce caused to all of us after 30 years of marriage.

I offered any outdoor venue they wished as a gift. They acquiesced but are still angry. The bride refuses to speak directly to me about it.

The new outdoor venue, which my son chose, is immensely nicer than the ex's barn and closer to the bride’s home.

He still believes my request was unreasonable and obviously so does his fiancée. Was it?

Still Grieving Divorce

Yes, you were unreasonable.

Ten years later, your grief is your business, not that of your adult son, who has a right to his own choices and also the desire to please his father.

Drawing your other family members over to your side of this unnecessary divide was also unreasonable, and did your son and his bride a disservice.

This is their day, not yours. He has two parents, not one.

Enough time has passed that you could’ve been gracious and taken the high road, by attending as a proud mother-of-the-groom.

You didn’t have to become chummy with the other woman, only be polite.

You owe the young couple an apology. You also owe yourself an end to bitterness and a focus on present happiness.

My fiancé, 46, was only able to reach orgasm through intercourse once. He was 21 then, it was his first time.

He was later married for eight years, had other relationships, but has self-pleasured since.

Nothing else works, though he’s healthy, and not on medication. He has no erectile dysfunction.

We’ve been together for eight months, and initially I was fully supportive but now I'm tired of it.

He’ll not seek counselling, for fear of losing his job.

He says it's not me, yet it makes me feel unattractive.

He often blames me during sex, for moving or shifting my technique during oral sex for him. He says if I hadn’t stopped it would’ve worked, but I simply can't continue.

I won’t be satisfied with this type of sexual relationship… it lacks the intimacy I’m used to.

He’s a control freak and won't let go. He’s very set in his ways and reluctant to change.

He says this wasn’t an issue in his past relationships, but I think he's lying. He won't even open his eyes while he’s masturbating!

Can this be fixed or do I need to leave?

Fed-Up Fiancée

Leave.

This relationship is all about him. He controls the sex act, keeps you from the intimacy you want, gives only to himself.

Worse, he uses excuses and blame to refuse to change anything. It’s a tactic that’ll eventually wear you down.

Getting counselling doesn’t risk his job. He can see someone privately.

But he won’t. Leave while you still have the confidence to not accept his manipulative behaviour.

My mom wants me to get an Accounting degree, though I'd flunked high school Accounting 101 and Business Calculus, twice.

She’s still set on it because accountants make a decent salary. Especially since math was my best SAT subject.

I want to be a writer. I've taken an interest in journalism after my internship at a local newspaper.

Mom’s still unconvinced that I'm unable to fulfil her dream. She even had me lie on my resume that I work for her real-estate firm as a financial assistant. Only after I deleted that was I able to find work.

How do I tell her that accounting just isn't in my cards?

Pressured

Start writing. Read blogs, web sites, magazines, news reports, and write whatever moves you. Create a blog, post it on Facebook.

Your mom will see your interest and determination. Then tell her again that journalism is what you want/need to study.