When I’m away from my live-in boyfriend, I’m more active and outgoing, and eat less. When together, we “enable” each other’s laziness – spending our nights in front of the TV and often eating unhealthy meals. 

He says he’s willing to start living a more-active lifestyle. But when I try to initiate an activity or outing, it’s like I’m pulling teeth.

We’re mid-20’s, in a rut. We love each other, but it seems we’re negatively impacting our lifestyle.

I’m not a lazy slob by nature, but I’m acting like one and feel I might be on the road to depression.

Is it worth ending a relationship over lifestyle habits? Other than trying my best to get him off the couch, what can I do?

- Vegetating

Start walking… to lead by example. 

His couch sitting isn’t holding you down, so wherever your day takes you, use stairs instead of elevators, join a fitness class, look for a recreational sports team in your neighbourhood or through work.

Then, do a weekly “healthy shopping:” buy salad fixings, lean, cooked deli meats and poultry, fish, low-fat dairy products. In other words, make it easy to put together quick, healthful meals. Spice them up with natural seasonings.

When he sees you feeling and acting more upbeat and energetic, he’ll hopefully want to join you.

If he resists or tries to sabotage you with cheese fries and a boxed set of “Entourage,” discuss whether he’s on your team for the long-term, or you should get separate couches and split up.

Why do people who’ve said they love you, suddenly announce they’ve been “unhappy for months” and want to break up right away? 

I’m 25 and my girlfriend of two years just left, without any explanation.

- Blind-sided

There are countless reasons why people cut and run, rather than talk it out: immaturity, cowardice, embarrassment, covering up for cheating, fear of emotional or physical conflict, are some. 

In time, you’ll see that the fact she chose this way of ending it, should help you acknowledge and accept that this is not the right time for you two to stay together.

Four years ago I helped my friend clean out her father’s apartment. She asked if she could store some stuff at my house, as she had no room. I agreed. 

Several times, we talked about her going through everything and deciding what to do with it. Then, she stopped returning my calls and my emails and we’re no longer friends.

I’ve made one more attempt emailing her, “It’s time for you to come and get the things you stored at my house.” She never responded.

Recently, I went through a mutual acquaintance for her contact information, and was told this ex-friend would phone me, but she didn’t.

Am I legally responsible for these items? I’d gladly donate the items to Amvets or the like.

- Stored Frustration

Clear your liability before you clear your storage space. Explain to the mutual friend that you intend to return or donate these items, and anyone who blocks you from alerting the owner, shares some responsibility. 

Once you get the address, send a written letter AND email (keep copies) listing the date it’ll all be delivered, and/or left at the front door if unanswered. Then pack up the stuff and send.

NOTE: if you cannot find an address or way to contact her, call a lawyer or law clinic to ask for your legal responsibilities in this matter.

I had a son 10 years ago, at 18; my then-boyfriend assaulted me several times, my family disowned me, I couldn’t raise the child alone. My boyfriend decided to care for him, I signed some papers and went my own way. 

My boyfriend was soon arrested for assaulting his mother; his parents were awarded custody.

Can I legally see my son? Family members have rejected my efforts.

- Helpless Again

Mothers’ rights to re-connect with children they formerly gave up are looked at from the view of the best interests of the child. 

A court clinic on family issues or legal clinic can help you learn how you can submit a request to see your son, and what’s required in your jurisdiction, for it to be approved.

Instead of feeling “helpless,” work on those areas of your life about which your son could be proud if he gets to know you.