I’ve been seeing this wonderful guy and we’ve been on five dates so far. We texted everyday and he called a lot.
However, he now doesn’t always text back as much, and barely calls me. We last saw each other around December. He’d bought me Christmas gifts, and a lovely card that expressed how much I mean to him.
But since then, he’s been distant from me. He even mentions how I don’t call him enough.
I also noticed on Facebook that he was out on a Friday night with another girl, who posted the picture of her food order, but tagged him in the photo.
I could be overreacting to this, but I don’t think it’s right for a guy to hang out with a girl while he’s seeing someone else.
I’ve been texting him and I did try calling, but he claims he never got my calls.
I’m worried cause he means a great deal to me and I want those wonderful words he put in his card to mean something.
Is He Pulling Away?
Unless you’re living far apart from each other, this has been a limited relationship no matter how much you text.
He’s keeping up less contact and doesn’t see your connection as “exclusive,” after only five dates.
He’s free to be out with other women, since there’s nothing that suggests you two had an understanding for the future.
However, his Christmas card did give a different impression, and mixed messages aren’t fair (or he’s met someone else since).
Call him, and ask if you can meet briefly for coffee (not a drink, you’re not asking for a date).
If he agrees, fine. But even if he doesn’t agree, seize the moment to mention the card and ask the question that matters: Is he interested in getting together more often, or not?
It’s better to know where you stand, than to keep texting and calling into a void.
My sister’s single, retired, and spends all her money on clothes, jewellery, and two dogs.
I advised my father to make her his sole beneficiary since he was going to live with her, and he did.
He died with my brother owing him $10,000. Because of this, she gave me the same amount. She’d been treated as a princess by our parents. They’d helped her buy her house.
She lives far away and visits us for two to three weeks at least three or four times a year. She and my wife go shopping and for lunch daily.
I’m handicapped and don’t join them.
She washes and puts away dishes when here, but has never brought even a pizza to our home.
During a past visit I told her that my wife and I, in our 70s, need help when she brings her dogs (she feels they’re her children).
She complains frequently about things that affect her dogs, e.g. if our walkway’s icy.
I think she’s a mooch and a cheapskate, and doesn't realize what an imposition her dogs are. I want to tell her this, but my wife doesn't.
Your wife enjoys her company. You don’t. Time for some compromises before the next visit.
Options to discuss: 1) your sister stays for a shorter period, and/or visits less often.
2) She pays for a dog-walker, or someone to clear ice and snow during her stay.
3) She either buys groceries to ease the extra cost, or looks after dinner every third day.
I took an excellent picture of my beloved granddaughter and her boyfriend of six years, then posted it on Facebook.
I started writing just their names but for some unknown reason, I added that they’re moving in together.
However, they hadn’t told any of their friends yet. I was mortified.
They’ve been incredibly helpful to us hundreds of times. How can I fix this?
In the Doghouse
Apologize, then apologize again, and say – truthfully - you simply weren’t as aware as you now are of the scope of Facebook, and its resultant spread of information instantly and globally.
If they’re truly moving in together soon, you haven’t caused great harm, just annoyance.
Tell them how much they mean to you, and how much you appreciate their help and closeness.
Ask how you can help with the move. And, give them a meaningful (and affordable for you) “house gift” when the time comes.
Tip of the day:
When there’s far more texting than personal contact, the “relationship” is limited.