I’m turning 39, never married, though I hoped to find “the one” since age 14.

I’ve had a series of failed relationships where the man involved always ended up fooling around.

I gave up on dating a year ago. Most men in my age bracket look at 20-somethings online.

And every man has a constant source of hook-up temptation. Whether through a dating-site, Facebook, Tinder, etc. he has a pool of little pretties at his fingertips.

You eventually get dumped for one of these ladies.

You stick it out, hoping your suspicions are wrong, but as usual, you’re right.

Most men my age are divorced, and use this as an excuse for commitment phobia. A “relationship” is viewed as seriously as marriage. And nobody wants to get married.

Most men I date say my intelligence intimidates them. Yet I don’t try to “one up” them, laugh at, or talk down to them.

I’m an attractive woman, and take care of my body. I’m also a “geek,” who’ll watch movies with them, play video games, or engage in any nerdy behaviour.

But that quickly puts me in the friend zone.

Repeatedly, I’ve been dumped for unintelligent, manipulative, high-maintenance women. That sums up my entire dating life.

Most men seem to just want sex now, and plenty of other women oblige.

I want to be happy alone. But I find myself crying every night. I’m starting to drink too much when I’m alone. I just cannot quench this desire to be with somebody.

Seeking Contentment Alone

Frankly, anyone looking for love since age 14 was bound to be disappointed.

Something was missing that far back, and it couldn’t be found through just dating.

You needed to feel a lot better about yourself, to speak up long before you had proof of cheating, and to learn to make better selections earlier when dating.

Now, after too many disappointments, you sound bitter and defeated. Contentment won’t come from just giving up. Nor from excess alcohol, which is a depressant.

Get pro-active about your own happiness. You’re at a perfect turnaround age to get to the root of your “story” – who and what hurt you so long ago.

You need counselling that’s also aimed at boosting your sense of optimism.

Then you can become content when alone, or with good friends, but not despairing of love… not once you learn to recognize the decent men out there who are also looking for love.

My once-best friend of 14 years has become increasingly negative, easily frustrated, and selfish.

We have a long-standing promise to be each other's bridesmaid.

I’ll be engaged soon, but I don't want her in our wedding party.

She’s become increasingly difficult to tolerate.

I still want to be there for her, but I can only take so much of her negativity.

How can I "down grade" her from best friend and bridesmaid without shutting her out or ruining the relationship? I still want her at my wedding as a guest.

End of Promise

She’ll be hurt and angry. So it’s kinder to distance slowly. It’s even more kind and worthy of 14 years’ friendship to talk to her about why she’s becoming so negative.

There may be reasons that call for you “being there for her,” rather than abandoning her just because of an old promise.

If that doesn’t change your mind, then try to choose bridesmaids from family as well as friends, and say it’s a numbers issue.

She’ll still be hurt.

My husband and I were invited on Facebook by his co-worker's wife, to a self-planned first-baby shower.

Her invitation asks for gift cards to a specific store.

She has lots of family, friends, and coworkers. There’ll be a shower with that group. I’m not close with her.

I had my first child last winter. They were invited to two events and missed both.

I believe she's throwing this shower for the gifts, which is tasteless.

What’s the etiquette on this? Should anything be said?

Put Off

Don’t attend. If she didn’t send a gift for your baby, you can respond similarly.

Or, for the sake of the husbands’ ongoing connection, buy an affordable gift card.

Do NOT comment to her or anyone else about your finding this shower “tasteless.”

So-called etiquette is far more fluid in the world of Facebook invitations. But manners are not, and badmouthing the new mother won’t look good on you.