I’m a 32-year-old single father of one, who recently broke up with my girlfriend, a 38 year-old single mother of two.
We’d dated on and off for the past 6 years; she’s been ready to get married for years but even though I’ve loved her I used every excuse to avoid it. I then made the mistake of suggesting we cut ties but after months apart I’ve realized I want to spend my life with her.
We had our first conversation this past weekend and even though she says she still loves me, she’s decided to move on but wants my friendship. She’s recently started seeing someone else.
I’m stuck between staying friends and hoping I get another opportunity or going after her and risking rejection because she’ll interpret it as desperation to keep her.
Look in a mirror and talk to yourself: Is it rejection that’s most scary, or not having this woman as a life partner? Are you desperate for the same old relationship or do you now have the courage to risk the challenges of marriage?
`Keep looking yourself in the eyes, and when all the excuses and what-ifs are supplanted by truths, you’ll have your answers. Then, talk to this woman honestly.
Hanging onto a friendship while she dates another won’t work. Either you make a strong, committed bid for an immediate reconciliation with a wedding date in mind, or you fade from her life so she can move forward.
My husband has a history of hanging out in bars, meeting women, collecting phone numbers, email addresses, etc. It turns into an Internet/cell phone affair. He says it’s harmless fun and games. He says it’s business related, when he and another woman call each other every day, play on MSN, Facebook, etc.
I believed him initially but found he lies about where he goes and who he’s with.
Four years ago one of these “acquaintances” turned out very serious. I snooped in his emails/cell phone records.
He packed Viagra and silk undies when he went away for “business” trips. She wasn’t just a friend.
We worked things out; he didn’t want to split up. But he’s continued to meet women.
I’ve been uneasy about one who helps him at his work. They call each other every day and in one of her emails, she called him “BABEE.” He says it’s just a playful email. Now she calls him everyday at work.
He told me he no longer wants me at “HIS PLACE OF BUSINESS.” He says I’m overreacting and I feel like I’m talking to a wall trying to make him understand that his behavior is wrong.
Maybe if he reads this in the paper it may shed some light that this isn’t appropriate behaviour for a married man.
- Fed Up
Here’s my reality check for Clod of a Husband and Permissive Wife: You’re both wasting energy and time on this sham of a marriage.
Mr. Insensitive thinks he can do whatever he pleases because Mrs. Snoopy prefers to count the lies rather than gather her self-respect and leave him to his Viagra.
Perhaps you’re both bored and need this silly game of You’re Bad/I’m Mad. Neither of you know how to work on a marriage, or recognize when it’s dead.
Hubby prefers pumping himself up with these careless flings, and Wifey allows herself to be played as a fool.
Until one of you straightens your spine, the game will go on.
We have a hard time dealing with our son, age six. It takes him forever to get ready for school (fighting to not go). He’s dropped music lessons, swimming lessons, karate, which we signed him to. He’s selfish, petty, materialistic, a sore loser. He doesn’t express feelings, so we don’t know if something’s bothering him.
Teachers say he’s well behaved and very sweet; he does well academically, plays well with other kids, but doesn’t initiate friendships.
What else can we do besides providing a nourishing, healthy, loving environment?
Stop labelling your child with negatives and get to a family therapist.
There are so many reasons why youngsters balk at going to school – from bullying to family pressure on achievement; plus many possibilities for your child’s reactions including a lack of parental knowledge about handling a sensitive child.
Get informed. Be encouraging, patient, and positive. He’s crying out for greater understanding.
Tip of the day:
Courtship should be about your commitment