My ex-husband, who's long been living far away, moved nearby. Our kids (20 and 17) don't get that I have no problem with their establishing a relationship with him, but I don't like the circumstances. My kids and I share a home with my older sister and her daughter. I feel that my ex should be spending time with our kids at his own place.

Unfortunately, he now lives with his sister, her husband, and his mother. So he's been coming here. My sister hasn't blown up yet but I'm sure she will!

I feel uncomfortable because, though I've been clear with him that our children are our only mutual interest, he says inappropriate things.

I don't know WHAT TO DO. The imminent blowup from my sister or me won't be pretty!

Help!

Be honest...this is really about your personal discomfort around the guy. And it's overshadowing what's important here. The children have a right and a need to see their father once he's here.

Some solutions: 1) He should take them to his sister's place sometimes, so they can relate to his side of the family. Insist on this. 2) He can go out with them sometimes - a park, a mall, etc.

3) YOU can go out when it's more convenient for him to visit where you and the kids live. Speak up, get a grip on your emotions, and tell your sister you're taking care of this.

I'm 24, currently living in my parents' home. Though everything's going well with my boyfriend of six months, they had negative assumptions about him from the start as he was raised Muslim and I was raised Catholic. Both sets of parents are extremely oppressive and conservative.

I let my mother meet him because she's often more understanding than my father. Yet she later unleashed harsh insults about his physical appearance, career choice, and ethnicity/religion. I'm nervously anticipating my father finding out as he's constantly verbally abusing me.

He's a recovering alcoholic and awful memories plague me daily. I find it difficult to even look at him sometimes. I also resent that my mother stayed with him despite all the physical abuse he laid on her.

My mother says if I continue dating this guy I no longer have her support. I don't want to break up with him, but feel I need to move out of their home so the abuse can end.

Wit's End

Move. You cannot expect to live in the home of parents you don't respect, and somehow get them to approve of a choice they're firmly prejudiced against.

IF this boyfriend remains a loving partner to you, and IF you stay together over a long time, they may eventually accept him, especially if you have children. But don't count on it.

For now, decide if you can be certain he's right for you, and if you can emotionally handle living estranged from your parents. That's what's most likely to happen in the immediate future if you defy them (as your mother has said).

With the stakes this high, you should stop trying to push him at your parents and seek their approval. Instead, discuss all these possibilities with him, plus what he expects from his parents, and whether he can handle living estranged from them.

Only then will you two know if you should cool it a bit, or strike out on your own, away from family pressure.

I ride public transit and the college students who use it are rude. I've witnessed students bullying people with various disabilities and they think it's a joke. I've had students make snide comments towards me, which I've ignored and later reported to the driver. I'm getting tired of these students and so are my friends.

What can I do to make sure these college scums back off of me, my friends, and other people with disabilities?

Fed Up

Keep a record of each incident and report them to the consumer relations department of the transit authority. Also, inform your disabilities association, so they can seek a response.

If there's no reaction, contact your local newspaper and suggest that a reporter ride your route at the vulnerable times, appearing as just another rider, to write an article about what happens. If an incident occurs, it'll have a strong chance of sparking official reaction.