My "husband" worked away - three weeks gone, one week home.
He started working this way five years ago.
I hated it and asked him to come home, but he said he liked the lifestyle and better income.
He started online dating and porn-watching, then had a text affair with a woman from the town where he was working.
He got caught, fired from his job, and came home.
I could never get over his betrayal of our relationship and never felt he was sorry.
We tried counselling, but he kept walking out, then coming back.
He packed up his truck while I was out and I only discovered when I returned and saw the pictures gone!
He ended up staying.
I’ve made sacrifices for his work throughout our relationship, putting his needs above my own.
Then he walked out for good two months ago and now he's being incredibly nasty.
He's obviously not wanted to be here for years and has mentally been gone awhile.
Now I have to make decisions that I don't want to make.
I want to move on, I don't even like him anymore. I'm scared, lonely, and incredibly mad. How do I move on? How do I forgive?
Anger is helpful right now, to make you determined to move past being scared and lonely, and getting on with creating a life you’ll enjoy.
No more sacrificing. No more bearing the hurt from betrayal.
You can make new decisions – after all, you’ve mostly been on your own these past years.
You don’t have to be lonely. Spend time with supportive family and friends.
Join a gym, yoga, walking, or other health/fitness group which will help you feel better physically and bring new people into your life.
If you need direct help, see a therapist, to gain understanding of why you let this man distance from you for so long.
And to regain your self-confidence that you’re going to be fine, and better off.
My friend and I always maintained contact through different jobs and my career.
Then she and a new boyfriend quickly moved in together.
She soon confided that she might’ve made a mistake as she didn’t trust him 100%.
Since then, I’ve always been her go-to shoulder to lean on with any relationship issues.
A few months ago, I wanted to make plans to see her for a girl's night out. But I was constantly met with unanswered FB messages and texts.
It hurt because it seems that I always make the effort to see her or reach out to her.
She eventually left me a message that maybe we shouldn't be friends any more, due to (my) “very high expectations of our friendship.” This was four months after I’d last seen her.
She’d previously been someone I could rely on, in a great friendship.
I still want to reach her to know that I'll always be there for her no matter what.
Is that a good idea or should I just let the past stay in the past?
Dumped by Message
It’s a sad reality, sometimes, that after a friend exposes the cracks in his/her relationship, it becomes too awkward for that person to stay friends.
This may be the case here. She confided in you. She’s still with him. She avoids you.
Back off and give her space. Focus on your other friendships. Send a card for her birthday or Christmas, saying simply, “Wishing you well.”
She may reach out in future. Or not.
My 10-year-old granddaughter’s worried. She says her stepmom drinks too much.
She’s afraid to talk to her stepmom or her dad about this.
What should I do?
Ask her why she feels that way: How does her stepmom behave if she’s been drinking? What has your granddaughter seen that bothered her? How has she been treated during those times?
If you believe her (and you should at least believe that something’s bothering her, even if she’s exaggerating), then speak to your son.
Don’t accuse, don’t betray your granddaughter, just say that she seems “troubled.” Ask about her relationship with his wife.
Hopefully, if you get him talking or even thinking about what’s going on, he may see the problem for himself and handle it.
If not, watch for any signs of abuse, and react accordingly - call the authorities if your son lets it happen or participates.
Tip of the day:
When a bad relationship’s over, having been “dropped” can be the gift that sets you free.