My daughter’s in a Grade-11 “Gifted” class, and insists that she has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

She avoids all responsibilities and though she could spend hours doing things that she likes, she won’t heed our suggestion to devote some time studying the ones she dislikes (Math, Physics – important ones).

I’m getting her examined by my family doctor soon, but it’ll be awhile before she’s seen by a specialist.

Meanwhile, how can we get her to focus on her upcoming exams?

Unheeded Mom

Her immediate need is for encouragement more than pressure. She needs to be told that she’s loved by you, other family, and her friends for herself,  not just for high marks.

That said and stressed, you could get her a tutor for these coming exams.

But if she doesn’t do well, do not make it seem a disgrace, or a defiant act.

Instead, look for specialized math and science after-school tutoring facilities where she’d be learning along with others who need this extra boost, and not feeling defeated before she starts.

As for ADHD, it’s best to wait for the specialist for a certain diagnosis, one way or the other.

My husband and I have a young son, age three. We’ve always consciously fed him nutritional food, usually homemade, and a balanced diet of ‎whole grains, meat, fresh produce, and dairy.

But wow, do we ever receive resistance!

We don't prohibit all sugar or junk food, but we restrict it, so it doesn't spoil his appetite for meals, doesn't replace meals, nor get him wound up before bedtime.

We  have dessert and treats once a healthy dinner’s finished, or during fun times.

Family and strangers alike will marvel about how he's such a "good eater"‎ ... healthy appetite, likes just about every meal presented to him, and how he's calm and well-behaved.

But as soon as they learn we hold back on sugary foods and junk food, it sparks some sort of inner rebellion within them.

We don't discuss our eating habits, but they may observe us choosing milk over juice, or asking for veggies not fries.

People get so offended! They’ll go out of their way to sneak him candy.

His grandparents will serve processed food and ice-cream, even though they have a fridge full of healthy food.

We recently dined with a brilliant doctor, who’s bragged that he eats kale salad almost daily, and admired that our son wasn't a "fussy eater."

But when he overheard us say, “no dessert until you finish the bit of dinner left on your plate,” he said that we're mean parents, not to be so strict, and that he personally wants to corrupt our efforts.

If you have any insight to why people become offended, and how to dissipate the situation, we’d appreciate hearing it!

Good Nutrition/Bad Reactions

That “inner rebellion” you notice comes from people feeling that their own standards are being judged.

Ignore them the best you can. What you do consistently in your home is what affects your son most.

Unless he has some bad food reactions or allergies, Grandma’s ice cream dessert won’t harm him, but tell her that she of all people should respect your healthy regime.

One caveat: He will be exposed to non-nutritional foods over time. If you are so strict that he never gets a taste until people sneak it to him or he sneaks it himself, you may inadvertently cause increased desire for salty, sweet, fatty “treats.”

I’m a “worry-wart,” but I’m starting to think it’s to an unhealthy extreme.

I used to handle pressure really well, but had a lot of changes - moved three times in the past two years, switched jobs three times, almost got evicted due to a bad roommate, and wrote a difficult national exam.

I obsess over moderately worrisome things. Close people have seen me freak out, cry, and rant when something unexpected comes up.

It’s taking a toll on my boyfriend, who’s an amazing support, but gets stressed by how much I panic over “small” things.

Any ideas on how can I stop myself from obsessing, especially over things out of my control?

Worry Wart

You understand the larger cause – many changes at once – so now deal with the effects pro-actively.

See a professional counsellor for therapy (possibly short-term only) on adjusting to changes, one at a time, and learning new adaptation strategies as well as de-stressors.