My husband's executive assistant of several years does excellent work for him. But the odd time I have to visit his office, warning bells start ringing.

Example: My husband and I send gifts to his business partners at Christmas. I discovered that she'd sent some with her name alongside his, not mine. I was furious, yet when I mentioned this to my husband, he played dumb.

We also own some property out of town. I learned that she'd put the telephone account there in her name along with my husband's. The same happened with a store account.

Recently, there was a retirement party for my husband. He'd said that my son and I should meet him inside. We arrived early; she was sitting waiting for him. When he arrived she ran to give him a full body hug. He responded similarly, and then spotted my son and I standing there. My husband now says it didn't happen, I imagined it.

She's married and has two children. She invites him to the children's sports events, but not me. We've been married 40 years. She's in her 40's. Should I confront her?

Not Crazy

Joint phone and store accounts? Those aren't imagined! Your husband may not be having an affair, but he's hurting you nevertheless and needs to take your concerns seriously.

Confront him. Insist that she cannot attach her name to anything that involves you and him as a couple. While it's true that many people who work closely develop close friendships, the line has to be drawn between a marriage and a business connection.

It's up to him to keep that line clear. When invited to her personal events, he should bring you along, make sure her husband's included, or politely decline.

If he resists such changes, and continues to say you imagine things, talk to a lawyer - your own lawyer - to make sure he's not feathering a nest for her to join.

Six months ago my boyfriend was going through a rough patch and projecting it on me. We had a few arguments. I noticed a girl from his hometown flirting with him on his Facebook page and felt suspicious.

We only see each other on weekends because of conflicting schedules; I noticed the following weekend that he was sending and receiving a lot of text messages - out of character for him. As soon as he left the room, I checked his phone. Sure enough there were messages saying, "I love you, Sweetie." I left in a rush, not sure what to do.

My boyfriend called. I couldn't confess so I told him I had a bad feeling, having thought I saw a picture of a woman on his phone. He assured me that nothing was going on, especially since she lives very far away. I realized it wasn't worth risking our relationship and haven't noticed any similar behaviour since.

I'm left with a guilty conscience for invading his privacy. Do I confess? Or is it too far gone and I should just let it go?

Guilty Girl

Let it go, that's what he's done, since it's obvious from your details that the girl continued to flirt with him, and that he effectively brushed her off. It's exactly what you'd have wanted him to do, if you'd been upfront with him.

Consider it a lesson learned for both of you: This is a guy you can trust; make sure he can say the same about you.

FEEDBACK Here's a different side of the stories about cheaters, from someone wrongfully accused and hounded:

Reader - "I'd been dating this man for a while when he accused me of cheating on him. No matter how much I protested, he insisted he "knew" with whom I'd cheated, what we'd done, and where and when we'd done it.

"I finally had enough. I informed him that there were only two ways that he could've found out that I'd cheated on him: 1) that someone had lied to him, and if he cared about me the way he said he did, he would've given me the benefit of the doubt. 2) If he made it up, in which case he didn't care for me at all.

"Believe it or not, he still thought that our relationship could continue!"

Innocent

He's a Drama King, uncomfortable when things are going well, so a potential cheater himself!