My ONE true love - my ex - messed up a lot, but that’s natural since we dated young and we were both immature.
We were together for six years, broke up twice previously.
I felt he was my soul mate. But then he left me for another girl and I was devastated.
Months later, he wanted me back but I refused. So he stayed with her.
I started dating someone else and moved in with him. He’s really in love with me and I feel he’ll never hurt me like my ex did.
However, I pay for mostly everything, while he has no motivation to get a good job.
He works part-time and spends his money on games and music.
I also can’t talk with him the way I can with my ex.
We can both be in a room, he’ll be on his game, I’ll be watching TV and feeling lonely.
But I have some love for him and he makes me feel special.
They both say they’re in love with me and want to spend their life with me. I have to choose.
I KNOW being alone is an option too, but I don't want that.
I’m scared to take back my ex because I don't want to get hurt again, but we had a great connection and a deeper love.
Do I give him one last chance?
Neither choice comes with a guarantee.
Your best “chance” is the choice you’re afraid to make – taking a break long enough to know what you can live with and what you cannot.
Your ex cheated on you. Has he matured enough that you can now fully trust him?
Your current boyfriend’s selfish. He takes advantage of you financially. Can you rely on him as a life partner?
Being alone isn’t your only other option, since you clearly attract men.
Take time to recognize what you have to offer, and what you want and need in the right man.
My boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend, who was a stripper and an escort, is in love with him still.
She had a premature baby at seven months - she did drugs throughout the pregnancy - and told my boyfriend the baby’s his.
I told him to block her. But he won't till he finds out if the kid is his.
If yes, he’s going to have to see her all the time. I trust him. But she's still in love with him so it's like she won by having his baby.
It’s unsettling knowing he would’ve just had a child with someone else.
And if I were to have kids with him someday, I wouldn't want mine having a half-brother with an unstable family. I don't know what to do.
You seem more upset at the odd belief that his ex might’ve “won” him through this pregnancy, than that the baby could have serious health issues from having been exposed to drugs in the womb.
If the baby is his, Yes, he will have to be involved and it’s the one positive note here that he recognizes this.
The baby may have special needs. If you and he remain together, you’ll have to be involved at some level too, and also respect her position as the mother, no matter your attitude towards her having been a stripper/escort.
You’re not up for that. Instead, you’re looking for a way out. Do yourself and the child a favour – back away.
FEEDBACK Regarding the wary bride who fears inviting her step-sister to her wedding (Dec. 29):
Reader – “Taking the so-called “high road” by inviting her step-sister, is an illusionary belief.
“The reality of the situation is that her step-sister isn’t going to make nice since children services were called on her grandson’s parent(s).
“The step-sister/grandmother will support the parent(s), first and foremost.
“I believe that an attempt to make contact prior to the wedding is the step that could be taken, to assess things before extending any invite to the wedding
“They haven’t spoken in eight months. The wedding isn’t the place to attempt a first re-introduction.
“Or the bride risks an explosive emotional situation on her special day.
“I say, there are too many red flags. It’s her day. And it’s her fiancé’s day, too. If she’s going to be anxious, don’t invite her. Especially if she’s also racist, which it appears she is.”
Tip of the day:
Value yourself higher than believing your choices are only between people who’ve disappointed you.