I had a previous boyfriend who broke into my house, forged my signature and stole money from the ATM machine with my debit card. Twenty years later he calls me up and wants to meet with me. Should I? I'm married with two kids.

Unsure

Letters like this cause some people to think these are fake questions sent to test me. In this case, I almost hope they're right. I hate to think that anyone - especially someone with a husband and children to protect - would seriously consider bringing a proven thief back into their personal life.

Trick question or real, it's the same answer: Refuse contact. He's not a friend; he's a long-ago bad choice on your part, when you were younger and innocent. Twenty years later, you can't be excused for making the same mistake: it'd be willful stupidity.

A year ago, my husband and I met a man regarding a business arrangement; the man and I connected immediately. Recently, he openly professed his love, and I responded similarly. We weren't interested in an affair, but in creating a long-term relationship, so I'd need to leave my marriage (the man's finalizing his divorce).

I told my husband of 17 years; something's gone out of our marriage, there's no spark or passion. He still loves me and wants to make me happy. I do love and care for him. Though the other man may be my soul mate, I've stopped all communication with him.

Sad

Take your decision further by actively trying to make your marriage work. This is the time for reviewing your whole pattern of relating to each other, how you spend time together, etc. Couples' counselling can provide a process for expressing what's "missing," what your needs are today. You need six months of real effort, if you're going to later question your decision.

I was added to an email conversation between two friends who forgot to delete their previous chat in which they'd insulted me and a couple of my friends.

One particular paragraph really upset me. My so-called friend was saying that one friend, say "S.," only hangs around with people who are lower class than her and don't have good relationships with their boyfriend/husbands, to make herself look and feel better and have control over these people. She had my name and others in brackets.

Ellie, I feel I have a great boyfriend and I love my job. Also, "S." would never hang out with people only to make herself feel better about her life. She's successful and in a great relationship.

I've decided I don't want these two people in my life but I'm not sure if I should tell "S." about this. The person that said these terrible things is her best friend of 25 years.

Stuck in the Middle

I was added to an email conversation between two friends who forgot to delete their previous chat in which they'd insulted me and a couple of my friends.

One particular paragraph really upset me. My so-called friend was saying that one friend, say "S.," only hangs around with people who are lower class than her and don't have good relationships with their boyfriend/husbands, to make herself look and feel better and have control over these people. She had my name and others in brackets.

Ellie, I feel I have a great boyfriend and I love my job. Also, "S." would never hang out with people only to make herself feel better about her life. She's successful and in a great relationship.

I've decided I don't want these two people in my life but I'm not sure if I should tell "S." about this. The person that said these terrible things is her best friend of 25 years.

Stuck in the Middle

FEEDBACK Regarding the woman whose longtime boyfriend won't buy a home together (June 12) to satisfy her need for "stability" ....which she says doesn't mean she wants marriage:

Reader - "I'm a man speaking from experience - both parties should run, not walk away. He's (wisely) shying away from what seems like a natural progression to her, and she's using "stability" as a guise for a desire to marry, with the purchased home as the "hook."

"For her, the likely next step is: "We have a home together, so we might as well marry." This is entrapment logic. Buying a home together without a marital commitment is a recipe for disaster as he predicts, yet it'll be perceived that he's weak and a commitment-phobe, even though they're together for 8 years.

"As a man, I'd dump her already, and move on to a woman who truly wants an exclusive, yet independent relationship."