I'm in a two-year relationship with a great guy, both in our 20s. We used to see each other once every week. I'm in university; he's trying to start a business.

Recently, we've been fighting over small issues - e.g. he forgot to give me a Christmas card along with his gift. He doesn't call as often, doesn't express his feelings about me openly. We didn't speak for a month and haven't seen each other since New Year's.

Meanwhile, he's taken up smoking, because of his financial distress. I suspect he has a second job but he hasn't said. We made up via phone after I left many voicemails. I'd called him out on trying to break up, claiming that he "couldn't provide the life I dream of."

He also revealed he's hiding something from me and refused to confess. I asked whether he cheated, or became involved in illegal activity. He replied, No. I believe him because he's a sincere guy. But I don't think he has positive influences from his friends.

My family says to move on because of our differences - career goals, education level, closeness with family. But I know he needs me. He just won't seek my help.

When my parents separated, I was an emotional wreck and he stood by me, after only dating two months. I love him truly and want the best for him.

My family thinks he's taking me for granted but I feel he's staying away because of someone else pressuring him or the guilt he feels for hiding something from me.

Overwhelmed

If there's any chance for this relationship, it starts with you NOT sharing every detail with family, and him not discussing it with his buddies. Probe whether this is a hiccup due to increased stress for him, or these differences are seriously worrying each of you.

If the latter, take a break, each focusing separately on immediate demands - your education and his business. You both should be free to date. Talk again and see if you want to re-connect in six months to a year.

I deeply love my husband. But his ex-wife still tries to interfere in our lives e.g. texting him on Valentines Day that she's sorry, she didn't mean to cheat on him.

We've raised his children, full-time, for nine years. Their mother's had little to do with them. One son, with a disability, will be attending his first Prom.

We asked if she'd like to take him and his date to the Prom. She said yes.

She then had the nerve to ask my husband to attend with her, as a family. He said no (she's also married).

She can't understand why he won't go unless I'm with him. Should I be jealous or furious? I've had to be civil to her for years, quit my job, and put everything else on hold, to raise her kids. I'm tired of being the good guy.

She's started interfering again since she found out my hubby has a new job making really good money.

Fed Up

You're naturally furious, but there's no reason to be jealous. Your husband's standing by you, knowing you've been a wonderful, generous, loving partner whom he'd never disrespect as she's asked.

Support this boy by going with him with your husband. Or, letting him go with his mother, if he wants (sadly, he likely thinks it means she cares. Try keeping him unaware of her scheme).

FEEDBACK Regarding the woman's uncertainty about serving snails to dinner guests (Feb 21):

Reader - "I'm allergic to shrimp and dislike "creamy things and mushrooms," making me a difficult dinner guest. I always tell the host this, and say that I understand if it means I shouldn't come, or maybe I can come just for drinks.

"Building on what you had to say about creating an atmosphere... Is there someone who might come and play some music at her dinner, perhaps a student who'd like extra cash? Keep the food less pricey and spend on this instead.

"I recently hosted (alone) a BBQ party and the guests were stunned when a harpist walked in and played. Instead of steak, we had hamburgers and music, and something to talk about afterwards."

Great suggestion. I don't often tackle people's food "problems" but that woman revealed more about her lack of confidence as a hostess.