My longtime friend "hates" his wife. He vents to me during frequent phone calls, emails, and texts. I care about him, so I listen.

But the constant contact sometimes bugs my husband. Worse, my friend's wife believes we're having, or will have, an affair. What should a loyal friend do?

Wondering

Your marriages need more attention. You're making it easy for him to just rant but do nothing to improve things. You also feed into his wife's jealousy. And you're playing loose with your husband's trust and patience since this obviously takes time from him.

Say this: "Tell it to a therapist, not me, and see if you can make things better.... or end it."

FEEDBACK The topic of different time/sleep schedules has hit a nerve. The question was regarding the boyfriend who didn't want to change his late-nights before bed, to be in sync with his girlfriend whose teaching job had her at work earlier and asleep sooner (March 13):

Reader #1 - "As a night owl who got to work "late" (according to others) throughout my 34-year career, I'm speaking up for our side. Early birds have a holier-than-thou attitude. I had a relationship with an early bird during which I was repeatedly told I was "wasting the best part of the day."

"He couldn't add any waiting to the time I/we went to sleep. I also got comments from my boss about when I came "late" into work (8:45). However, when I had to be in for 8am, I found he and several co-workers assembled over coffee and a chat before working.

"By contrast, I got right down to work. Also, while everyone else left at 4 or 4:30, I was there 'til 6pm helping those across the country who were still at work and had questions.

"And it was sometimes impossible to meet with my boss until 6pm as he was in meetings all day.

"A three-hour adjustment for night owls is major! There's no reason she has to sit around on weekends waiting for him to wake up. She should get up quietly and do something, then get together later in the morning to plan their day together.

"Also, how about the woman staying up a bit later on weekends so they can be together longer? They're only in their 30s. Many events they might choose to attend don't start until later in the evening."

Reader #2 - "Travelling with an early-waker is difficult for a night person. The early bird poops out around 9pm and doesn't want to do anything. I remember going to bed at 10pm on vacation - a time I never go to bed when I'm at home. Sure, I woke up early the next morning which pleased my early-rising friend but that was because I went to bed so early!

"Early birds tend to be very chirpy in the morning which can drive a night person bananas. I need a couple of cups of coffee to be sociable and able to think.

"Not all kids are early birds either. My son, from three months of age, slept until 9am, played happily for a while, and ate at 10, 4 and 10, then slept right through the night. He's still a night owl.

"We need to value both and recognize that night owls are just as productive as early birds - they're just at their best at a different time of day!"

Reader #3 - "That guy could really go for broke and get up when she does, and go to work EARLY, instead of late. There's less traffic then, too (knocking down his excuse). This would also demonstrate maturity."

Reader #4 - "My husband and I have been on differing schedules like that couple, for over 20 years. I'm a teacher, and he does video editing out of our home. We have a nine-year-old child.

"My husband is also basically a night person. We both have had to compromise due to our work schedules, since, as you responded, a teacher's schedule is fixed.

"The writer, "My Way," needs to understand that it seems his girlfriend is doing all the accommodating.  My husband learned to go to bed earlier and I do my own thing while waiting for him and our daughter to get up... because she's just like her dad - a night person."