While out and about with my pregnant wife of six months, she seems to have a wandering eye!
She was outraged that I could think that of her, and said I have low self-esteem. But I watch her eyes while we’re out; I can’t seem to stop. It’s ruined our time together.
It all seems so childish. I tell myself that I’m conjuring up these thoughts but I believe the truth lies in the eyes!
She’s naturally proudly pregnant when “out and about.”
You’re in Protective Hubby mode, which is Nature’s way of prepping you for being a father.
You both need to get closer and more supportive. Stop monitoring her eyes - she’s not in a likely state for “wandering.”
And it’s NOT time for her to demean your protective instinct.
Enjoy this time of expecting together, as there’s lots of fun, joy and work to share, soon.
I’m a widow, 61, “dating” a widower, 65, for two years.
He expects sex within 10 minutes of visiting, stays four days and doesn’t return for 4 weeks.
We go out to lunch once, otherwise I cook.
He watches what he likes on TV, or plays computer poker.
What happened to flowers, candy and a real dinner? Or a weekend away?
Does this sound more like a boring marriage than dating?
Sounds like a bad deal, no matter how it’s labelled.
“Dating” is for building a relationship, not just servicing someone’s monthly sex drive.
Never mind not getting flowers, this guy doesn’t seem to converse, or share any interests.
Tell him to not bother returning. Then, get out of your house to places where there are energetic, outgoing mature people, men and women alike, who want to meet others.
The more sociable you are, the broader your network for meeting or being introduced to someone who’s seeking real companionship.
Prior to my baby’s birth, my mother seemed excited and I was looking forward to some help. But, she’s been insulting, prudish about breastfeeding and oddly harsh and anxious when we speak.
My mom’s shrill, critical manner complicates all her relationships, including those with my sisters-in-law.
Everyone tries to include her but she doesn’t feel valued. She thought things would be different with me, her own daughter, but it’s been even worse.
I’m ready to give up on her. She’s tainting this exciting and vulnerable time of my life, acting like an angry, offended child.
Nothing works - not talking, clearly stating limits, nor modelling loving behaviour.
Is there any way I can get though to her or would a break from her be safest for my new little family... and my sanity?
You’re fully absorbed with your newborn, and rightly so. But she’s needy, jealous, shut off from feedings by breast, and quick to suspect exclusion. It’s in her head, but her reactions are not new to you. Rise above it.
Look after your child first, and ask your husband to help you include Mom. Example: He can request she make a meal for you, or join your family in a take-out dinner when baby’s between feedings.
Call her once a day only, but call regularly and give her five minutes of your attention, all about her.
She’ll likely settle down from her fears of being left out, so long as there’s regular contact. But a break could send her into a psychological tailspin that’ll require serious more attention.
My son’s in his first serious relationship – he’s 19; she’s 17.
Recently, he told me, “If I can’t make us both happy, then I might as well do what she wants me to do, and make her happy.”
I’ve made bad choices in men and am single, yet again. What have I taught my son about relationships?
- Been There
There’s still plenty of opportunity to “teach” good approaches to relationships.
Apparently, your previous relationships somehow led him to believe he has to hang onto a partner even if he’s not happy. But he’s also seen that relationships can fail.
Tell him that for two people to be happy they need to speak up about what they want early into their relationship; and they need to hear the other person’s needs.
Then they need to work out compromises that make both of them as happy as possible, as often as possible.
Tip of the day:
The time when a couple is expecting a baby can be sensitive for both; get closer and mutually supportive.