When my daughter got married she surprised my second husband and me with the desire to have her father (who'd left when she was four) walk her down the aisle.
Her step-father has loved, raised and treated both my daughters as his own, while my ex was largely absent. Now, there he was, sitting with his wife alongside us as "equal" parents of the bride.

He was terribly smug as he escorted the bride, and then made a speech (he was asked to) talking about her school success, cheerleading, music talent, etc., when he'd never been involved in any of it!

Her older sister's getting married and, once again, we're told her father and his wife will be in full attendance in the ceremony and reception. My husband and I are miserable just thinking about that man's gall, and how awkward we'll feel.

Isn't this fawning over an absentee father an insult to my husband and me?

Unhappy MOB

Ironically, it's an interesting tribute to you and your second husband that your daughters want to include their father in their wedding ceremonies.

They both know who raised them, did homework with them, attended their sports and music events. They've grown up secure and loved, which is why they can reach out to this man, and make him take the role he should've maintained, even as a divorced dad.

The wedding days - and the brides' wishes - aren't about you and their step-father. You should attend with pride in their generosity of spirit, and with compassion for the fact they've obviously been hurt in the past by their father's neglect. Rather than diminish their step-father's love, their actions show they know what a father should do.

My son's wife was openly more interested in material things than he was, right from the dating phase. She grew up being indulged by her parents and getting whatever she wanted.

She's persuaded my son to buy a home that's too costly to afford within their income. It immediately meant less eating out and travel, and less impulse shopping, in order to meet their bills. My son can manage this way easily, but she resents him for monitoring her spending, and also that he's not earning more.

I sometimes hear snide remarks of hers, pushing him to take a second job; or I see his reaction if she's sporting something new like a designer handbag, etc. They've only been married a couple of years with no children.

What can I do to warn them of the disaster they're headed for in their relationship?

Worried Mom

The "disaster" is of their own making and their own to experience. These two need a wake-up call that does NOT come from you. She'll only consider your opinion as supportive of her son, rather than objective and non-judgmental.

Soon enough, something will set off the alarm: either your son will blow up at her for bills they simply can't pay, or she'll push them towards a break-up. Only then, can they have a real discussion about how to compromise to meet a common goal and stay together.

Or they might decide they're badly matched in values and lifestyle needs and need to end their union.

Your role is to be supportive (emotionally, NOT financially) when they need you to be....whether it's to understand what they're going through as they try to re-work their marriage, or decide to go separate ways.

Rumours are rampant that my friend's wife is having an affair with our other friend, but I know it's not true. The husband often works late or has to work out-of-town; our other friend is a freelance artist who has lots of free time, so those two go out together when she's on her own.

Some other "friends" who are inwardly jealous of her husband's high-powered job assumed she's cheating. Her husband believes her, but hates that people are talking about them, and his wife's miserable because now she's really alone. How can I help?

In the Middle

Stand up for what's right: Tell those jealous gossips that they're dead wrong, and losing the respect of everyone who hears their nasty chatter. If they were true "friends" they'd be proud of the husband's success, and want his marriage to be happy.

Lead by example - drop these so-called friends, yourself; they're troublemakers.