I have a moral dilemma. Over a year ago, I introduced two friends of mine. They hit it off and were together for a year. Their relationship wasn’t so great, and their final break-up was pretty bad, such that the woman felt she was in physical danger, and that the man was invading her personal space.
Now, months later, she wants me to delete him from my Facebook, “to make it clear to him that what he did was not acceptable."

My friendship with him had already faded while they were dating, and I didn’t want to involve myself in their drama.

He and I haven't spoken to each other in months.

But deleting him from my social network (of which I’m an extremely passive user) seems a very big statement.

I want to stay neutral. I feel her request is like that of a teenager.

How do I explain this to her? Or, should I be a "better” friend and “un-friend” him?

Torn 

If you really see this as a “moral” issue, and you believe he was abusive to her as she says, then it’s not just “drama” to stand up for her and show that his behaviour to any woman (or anyone at all) is “not acceptable.”

Otherwise, it’s a “friendship” issue with someone with whom you’ve already lessened contact.

You could then tell the woman that you’re rarely in touch with him anyway, and also that your social networking is too minimal to matter.

BUT, if you want to maintain your friendship with her, be prepared that she’ll not agree, and you may lose her in the exchange.

My mother-in-law is one of my best friends. However, her husband (my husband's step father) gives me the creeps.

I've always had a feeling that there was something very wrong, particularly with leaving my children with him.

It now seems that he’s actively grooming my children. He takes over while my husband and I are parenting, and makes it seem like he's the only person on our children's “side.”

I've spoken to my husband and my own parents about my concerns, and it's agreed that if I’m uneasy, we shouldn't allow them to be alone with him, ever.
I don't want to stop my MIL from babysitting but she does allow him time alone with them.
How can I bring this up without damaging my relationship with her, as she’s easily hurt and insulted?
I love her, but not enough to allow my children to be put in harms way.

Protecting My Children

Not an easy one to handle, so know in advance that whatever you do, someone might get hurt, BUT you’re absolutely right that it mustn’t be your children.

Your main evidence is his tendency to interfere by trying to win the kids’ confidence.

Since it’s your MIL’s feelings you don’t want to hurt, talk to her first, with your husband present. Explain that you two, as parents, can’t allow anyone else to contradict your parenting. She doesn’t, and you’re appreciative of that and any babysitting help.

Then describe how you’ve experienced his “siding” with the kids against you two. Give some examples. Say you really don’t want him alone with them. Be clear that you won’t soften on this stance.

Ask if she’d rather that you two define this boundary for her husband, or if she’s okay with personally making sure it doesn’t happen.

If she nevertheless feels very hurt, you have your priorities: Children first.

I’m obsessed with a boy at school.

Anonymous in New York

I’m responding to you, despite a lack of any details which would hint whether he’s aware of your interest, because of your mentioning “obsession.”

You’re still in school, but if you learn this now, it’ll be an important part of your education – “obsession” is unhealthy.

It crowds out everything else, leading to ignoring people like family and close friends, and other important activities like eating healthily and doing your studies or work.

Obsession with a person is especially unhealthy because it means you’ve valued that person higher than yourself.

If you don’t get the response you want, it erodes self-confidence. This sometimes causes obsessed people to attract the other person’s attention in negative ways.

So, if this boy isn’t showing interest, move on. Value yourself higher – you have a lot to offer, yourself - and others will soon see that you’re special.