I joined a friend’s recreational sports team, met a guy (28, I’m 26), and we started dating. After three months, I didn't see a future, so I ended it (in person, with honesty, not brutally). He was upset and sent several emotional emails.    
      I felt badly so responded as best I could. I stopped going to the team’s social events (the season was over). Eventually, he sent me a nasty email outlining my faults. I was upset, but responded rationally.     
      Several months later, he texted me asking if I wanted to get together. I said it was healthier for both of us to limit our contact to group events involving the sports team.     
      Upset again, he said I’m handling the situation poorly, he just wants to be friends and he’s seeing someone so he isn’t trying to get back together.    
      I feel it’s unfair of him to contact me without any mention or explanation of his past behaviour. I feel he overreacted, given our short dating period.      
      I’d like to join the sports team again this spring/summer but hesitate because of him. He’s been on the team longer and I ended the relationship, so I feel I should be the one to step down if anyone does.      
      Is it wrong for me to join again? Could I have handled this differently?
      - Uncertain Team-mate

Join the team, be pleasant and never mention his past behaviour. A break-up anytime can feel hurtful for many reasons - maybe he liked you a lot, or had been dumped several times before, or simply reacts badly to rejection.
      His nasty email was unacceptable, but his later one seeking contact was his way of clearing the air. Your responses each time were fine.    
      BUT, now, you’re the one overreacting. Few people go around explaining their hurt outburst to those who dumped them. The incident’s long over. Go out there and play ball … or whatever.

I wrote the question that appeared January 13 about an aunt who’s oppressively affectionate to my daughter, age 8. I want to clarify that she’s never been alone with my daughter and no sexual abuse has taken place aside from inappropriate, over-the-top affection.    
      This behaviour is likely due to "missing her so much.” However, it clearly crosses boundaries and is inadvertently "arousing" my child and causing problems in our family.
      When I try to find an answer from relatives, they act like I’m invisible (I’m the daughter-in-law). I make every effort to avoid this woman 99 per cent of the time and suffer the family’s disapproval.    
      I wish you to print a child’s bill of rights or list of "laws" for adult family members, outlining boundaries that shouldn't be crossed by a male or female - not accusatory or offensive - just informative and clear.    
      I’d forward it to this person and the grandparents who don't seem to see any problem with her actions.
      - Wit’s End

Sorry, I can’t take over what is your responsibility. The most important “child’s right” is to be protected by parents.     
      You previously wrote that the aunt is sexually arousing your child, who tries to resist the mauling. That’s enough reason for you to be firm and fiercely committed to preventing repeat incidents.    
      The “law” is simple: No one touches your child inappropriately, including close relatives.     
      If you need backup, talk to police and child abuse officials about what constitutes reasons for a warning or charge. Talk to your doctor about the emotional effect of unwanted mauling on a young girl.    
      Speak up, Mom!

FEEDBACK - An insight regarding the January 12 question about a mother, 67, who believes people break into her home and steal things:    
      Reader – “The woman described reminds me of my mother. The symptoms were the same - she was diagnosed as being in the early stages of Alzheimer’s.     
      “She felt very insecure, and would not leave her home. She frequently accused people of stealing her stuff, even though she lived only with my father in the house.  
      “She had dreams about people assaulting her and would be screaming and crying every night. Your reader should get medical help for her mother.”

I agree, but stress that lay people shouldn’t draw medical conclusions on their own.    
      Whenever someone you know well shows a marked change in his or her behaviour patterns, it’s worthwhile to urge a medical checkup.   
      Even in younger people, behaviour’s affected by medications, hormone changes and possibly an undiagnosed illness.