After a first date (really, a meet-and-greet at a mall), I felt relaxed in his company. We agreed to meet again the following weekend. The next evening he called and described a past work experience, which led to his being terminated because he was accused of harassing a female employee.
He said he'd asked this co-worker to not talk about his personal life to other employees. (She was a friend with his then-girlfriend). When she yelled at him, he yelled back. She then complained to management that he was harassing her.
He asked how I would've handled this. I said I wouldn't have confronted the person at work, but rather, I would've gone directly to my supervisor.
He verbally attacked me at that, swearing at me that I'm like every other (he used the worst expletive) who thinks she's right and he's always wrong.
He said he was looking for someone to stand by him and be sympathetic. He swore at me repeatedly, yet couldn't understand why I told him to never contact me again.
I'm glad I saw this "psycho" side of him in the beginning before more time was invested. And I'm very thankful that I chose a public place for that first meeting.
Innocent in Illinois
Thanks for an excellent example of why first meetings need to proceed cautiously - choosing a public venue, letting someone know where you are, and having them check on you after awhile.
Your wisest move was to express honest opinions in your conversation, so that any dramatic differences or hostile triggers would surface. This guy is so verbally abusive at the earliest provocation, that it's clear he could easily be moved to more aggression, and to control tactics. Don't return his calls or emails.
I'm feeling dejected with my career - mostly the lack of career opportunities that come my way. I graduated from a university program with honours, and then attended college for three years to refine my skills.
I now also have three years' work experience, but am still not considered for the opportunities I seek.
I feel too experienced to do an internship and work for free, but I'm not being taken seriously enough because I'm "young" (29, and mature enough for a great career).
I've had professional help boosting up my resume and yet I don't hear back from the jobs I really want - an editor with either a magazine or online publication.
It seems IMPOSSIBLE to break into this industry without having some connections. I apply to at least three jobs a day but hardly hear back from any employers.
I'm currently on a contract as an editor with an advertising agency, but could be let go at any time, due to "the economy."
I'm married and just bought a home, so I really can't afford to do a volunteer/internship opportunity. Any advice?
You can't afford NOT to do what's necessary for the career you want. The industry you're after is in huge flux, yet is highly desired by people your age and with your similar qualifications.
Your choices are straightforward - either stay with the ad agency, which is boosting your resume more, or bite the bullet and intern exactly where you want to be. That's the place for building "connections." After six months, you'll know more contacts, have hands-on knowledge of what the work entails day-to-day, and, if you're good at it, be in line for jobs that open.
My boyfriend proposed to me early on but won't discuss a wedding. I told him I'm not waiting five more years, yet I'm still here; I love him.
Two years ago he said it'd be in the winter, so I bought my dream wedding dress and nothing happened. When I brought that up, he made excuses, and I said we're never getting married. I shredded my wedding dress.
He says he loves me. I cook, clean, share his bed, do laundry, at home a lot. We used to be very intimate, but I've pulled away.
I feel I shouldn't be intimate with him when he doesn't give me the same respect. I'm wondering if I should get my own place and we could date, or just give up on everything and walk away?
Wonder no longer... just leave. You're being treated like a housekeeper, and you're withholding sex. Why stay?
Tip of the day:
When meeting someone new to consider dating, keep your eyes and ears open for red flags like anger flashes.