I’m head over heels for this guy in my university. We've only known each other three weeks, but gotten really close with our mutual passion for music, his genuine personality, and humour.
I felt he was feeling the same way because he's flirted and wanted to hang out together every chance.
Suddenly, he repeatedly said to call him, “brother.” I refused to give in, but I'm probably friend-zoned.
It may’ve been because I haven't flirted back. I’m not flirtatious and don't know how. Sounds pathetic from a girl, 18.
I want us to be more. I believe that he does too, after how we looked at the stars together, his waiting until I finished class so we could ride the bus together, and spending the afternoon singing and playing the piano.
How do I get out of the friend zone?
Slowly. If you try to boost a three-week connection to “more,” it’s very likely to become “less.”
A one-sided rush is off-putting.
Meanwhile, the friend-zone is a flattering place to be so soon. His mild flirting is also flattering, but is NOT a signal of commitment.
Don’t call him brother, and if he asks why, say you’d rather be what you are - new friends happy to get to know each other better.
Thirty years married, three kids. We fight in a respectful way. We have lots of differences of opinion, but still live as a regular couple together.
However, lately my wife never shows any interest in sex. She goes and sleeps in a separate room either with our younger child or alone.
It’s been almost one year. I turned to a different life style and ultimately end up with having sex in an extra-marital relationship.
But if I get divorced, my children's life will be spoiled.
What reason? You give no explanation for her disinterest in sex. After 30 years, you should be told why, but you need to ask directly.
She may have medical issues – pain, dryness, and lack of libido – and should see her doctor to check the cause. Also, so she can learn of treatments that can help.
She may have emotional reasons related to how responsive you’ve been – or not – to her sexual feelings, or how your “differences of opinion” have been handled over time.
Having an affair is far more likely to lead to divorce than to resolving these unknowns. So try talking to your wife, listening, and encouraging ways to improve your relationship together.
And, at least while you attempt to work things out, stop distracting yourself with an affair.
My boyfriend seems sweet on a woman, late-30’s, with a son, age nine, whom my boyfriend claims to mentor.
He stood me up to have dinner with her and her estranged husband. He said he made the date with her first.
We have a commitment with each other. He gets upset when I get hurt over this and says I’m jealous without cause.
He’s 80; I’m a little older. Should I show him the door, though he says he loves me? Is he just “an old fool?”
His daughter said his late wife was jealous of the same woman. What should I do?
If you believe he’s cheating, show him the door. But if he’s “smitten” about being needed, and actually helping this boy, re-think your limits.
Consider calling the woman and asking if he’s being “an old fool,” or a trusted Grandpa figure for her son.
My blended family’s coming apart. I’ve left the house, but my partner’s responsive to working on our problems, including dealing with substance abuse issues.
His daughter, 14, who has ADHD, lives with us.
He’s sometimes neglected his responsibilities, preferring drinking with his friends.
I don't want my family to come apart, but I’ve been responding with anger and rage. The turmoil’s left everyone in emotional pain.
Would family therapy, with all three of us, help keep us together? There seems commitment on everyone's part to solve the problems.
Start with the adults only. Don’t bring a young teen into issues you and your partner need to resolve first.
Her father, especially, should tell her that you two hope to work things out, and are getting professional help. You should also stay in touch, not abandon her.
Couple’s therapy is essential, then family counselling to move forward together… or to separate responsibly.
Tip of the day:
Push the ‘Friend-Zone’ too far and too fast, and you risk losing it altogether.