I recently got out of a relationship. We've only dated for a year, but I feel I still love her. However, several things bothered me about the break up:

(1) We broke off twice through text messages. I wanted to do it in person but she refused.

(2) She was always paranoid about other women, even after I proved my loyalty repeatedly.

(3) She didn't like that I spent time with my close relatives (nephews, nieces, brothers-in-law, sisters, etc.).

(4) Her anger was always out of control. The smallest things would turn into a war.

Am I a fool to still have feelings for her? I'm a hard worker and hold down a few jobs. And I'm loyal to family and friends.

I learned from a close friend that she immediately started seeing someone else. It makes me wonder if she cheated on me while I was on a recent trip with relatives.

She's just said we should get back together after the New Year, and that she never cheated on me.

But how is it possible for her to jump onto another man so fast, while I've been heartbroken?

Confused

Keep this break, for a while. She could be pushing to get back together because the other guy didn't put up with some of those things you mentioned, such as her anger.

Or, she broke it off in order to "play" and see what it's like to date again. If so, she's not the loyal person you are, and may get restless again. So six months apart is wise, to see if you still miss each other.

Meanwhile, do you miss the jealousy, the outbursts, and paranoia?

You have to love this woman deeply, and be willing to handle her negative tendencies long-term, if she doesn't change. Take time to be sure what you want.

How do you handle a father-in-law who treats women as inferior and not as smart as men? He talks to me as if I'm just a dumbed-up woman. He voices his opinion about everything, including how he feels about women physicians, a woman's place in the kitchen, etc.

He sits at the end of the table and has his wife serve him. He'll sit and read his newspaper after dinner while the women clean up and he expects me to be this way in my relationship with his son.

My partner tells him that his values are outdated but he continues to make jokes towards us such as "oh, you're turning into the woman in this relationship." He laughs and thinks that these comments are funny but we both tell him they're not.

Fed Up

A longtime male chauvinist whose wife apparently has fallen into line isn't going to change soon or easily. Be clear about not agreeing but change the topic unless he becomes verbally abusive and you have to leave (with his son).

Your partner also needs to be clear that you're the woman he's chosen, he loves you as you are, and that his father's comments can eventually push you both away.

Change may come when you two have a child, and his desire to see his grandchild makes him realize he has to get along better with you. You may even try to tell him now that you hope to have a good relationship over the years, but your children will want a grandpa with views that make sense in their modern world (this has to be said gently, not as a threat).

My wife and I always send our many out-of-town nieces and nephews Christmas and birthday gifts (from their parents' detailed lists on what to buy).

We've had a baby girl. Buying and mailing gifts was more difficult financially. However, we managed, and love buying for the children.

But we were saddened and surprised that not one gift or card was sent for our daughter's first Christmas. I know it isn't only about gifts but thought she'd be included.

My wife wants to mention her disappointment to her family, and stop buying for their kids. I've said to forget about it - the parents appear to be so inconsiderate. Is there a tactful way to let them know that our little girl shouldn't be forgotten?

Debate

Start Skyping with out-of-town relatives so the baby becomes a person they've seen and can't ignore. You can send a list back when you get yours from them.