My husband of five years and I love each other and will stay together till the end.
However, I like spontaneous sex and innovative ideas, but he's sticking to two positions and isn't much interested in sex (maybe once or twice a month).
We were trying to have a baby for the past three years but I didn't conceive. We have no medical issues, its just unexplained infertility.
During my ovulation period I really have to nag him for sex. I suggested some changes in routine to make it more interesting, but he's reluctant. I told him my fantasies, like bathing together or watching romantic movies together, but he wasn't interested. He says he has no fantasies and is happy with our current sex life.
We exchange romantic hugs and kisses but it rarely advances to sex. I feel he lost interest in me (though he doesn't have any erectile dysfunction.).
He suggested I take the initiative but I'm unable to do it because I believe he doesn't care and don't want to push him for sex. Since he doesn't have any problem with this, I can't suggest professional help.
You BOTH need professional help, together. There's a gulf of resistance here - he's ignoring your feelings, you're holding back, presuming his disinterest. The most likely result will be a cold marriage or painful parting.
A good therapist will help you both see whether the issue is about differences in libido, or deeper problems with intimacy, or a failure of both to communicate and hear each other's needs and wants compassionately.
Find a therapist and work on the marriage, NOW. It's the only way for the real meaning of the sexual divide to become clearer, and then more easily solvable.
I'd like to contact someone with whom I had a relationship over 30 years ago. We lived far apart and rarely saw each other, but shared letters and phone calls. We'd planned that when I graduated, I'd move to him, we'd live together and eventually marry. But the promise of a job there evaporated. I felt the need to have an immediate position and so ended the relationship. I was also unsure if I could live with someone without any other family or friends around for support. I eventually got a job elsewhere.
I had one meeting with him five years later, but no further contact, though we were both still single. My relationships since have never lasted more than five to eight years. I married once; it ended shortly after.
I recently came across his letters to me. They stirred up powerful feelings of having missed the love of my life. I'm in the process of trying to locate him.
At 65, the thought of never experiencing a true love feels like I have missed something vital. The term "ambivalent" describes many of the decisions I made over my life.
I'm a competent, involved person, and enjoy life. Am I just wishing for a miracle?
Every time someone buys a lottery ticket, they're hoping for a miracle, and yes, so are you. They happen.... but rarely.
Prepare yourself for disappointment and maybe, just maybe, you'll have a luckier result. With today's technology, you'll probably find him. He's probably married, a grandfather, and very different from the man you dream about. Even if you tweak his interest, be careful you're both not needy of miracles rather than having a realistic view of each other.
My boss and my colleague have been carrying on an inappropriate relationship for years. Everyone in the office finds it "inappropriate," but no one knows whether to tell the two individuals that their actions make us all uncomfortable, or to report their actions to human resources.
While it's great to have a good support system and close confidante at work, I'm certain that boundaries are necessary. And that sitting on your boss' lap with him massaging your neck is crossing the line.
The "problem" here occurs within the workplace, so you and your colleagues have a right to take it up with the human resources department. If the couple were having their "inappropriate relationship" outside the office, I'd say, stay mum.
However, this is a behaviour issue being played out publicly at work and causing discomfort. Document a few instances and have all the co-workers affected sign the report for HR.
Tip of the day:
A divided attitude toward sex in marriage may indicate deeper problems that require professional help.