My close male friend recently broke up with his girlfriend of four years. He’d realized he didn’t want to eventually marry her.
Now we’ve both discovered that we have feelings for each other.
Do people need time between relationships? I don’t believe it’s good to become a “serial monogamist,” but what happens when things just click so well?
I’ve suggested waiting several months until the dust settles; he agreed. But how do we stop the closeness we already have from naturally developing into a relationship?

- Falling

Cold showers are only temporarily effective. More lasting, is making sure your guy knows what didn’t work in his last relationship - and similarly, in your past ones – so that you’re both not rushing in to fill a comfort zone and repeat old patterns.
With “serial monogamy” there’s often a lack of self-reflection and personal growth. Each of you should spend some time apart – going out with friends, and also having some “alone” time. Stay in contact, but don’t spend your conversations pining for a relationship.
Nature plus your hormones won’t allow you to dither too long about when to get together… but any time you can put into cool thinking about what you really want for the future, will be worthwhile.

I grew up in a poor home (single mom and five kids) where food wasn’t wasted.
I’m now married and have two stepsons, 16 and 18. The boys dislike leftovers and my wife frequently throws out perfectly good food; she says that I can eat it, otherwise it’s garbage.
I found a wrapped sandwich made for my stepson with writing on it: “Day 4, (husband’s name) or the garbage.” my wife asked if I’d seen this, and I said yes, but found it somewhat offensive.
She became very angry saying that it was funny, I’m too sensitive and anyone else would find it funny, too. I disagree.

- Your Comment?

Your wife’s saying, Lighten Up, but she’s avoiding a real conversation with you on this matter.
SHE needs to hear and acknowledge the depth of your feelings, with its basis in childhood experiences of tough times. YOU need to acknowledge that you’re living in the present with children raised differently from you.
You both need to talk to these teenagers as reasonable guys – the economic times are more difficult, food waste is a shame and particularly hard on you, the young men can participate in shopping trips and menu planning to try to avoid tossing food.
If their school schedules allow, part-time jobs might also help them gain perspective on purchasing power versus “garbage.”
Once you’ve all had these conversations, it may be easier to share a laugh about the whole family’s various idiosyncrasies.

We’ve been married for a year, together for 10 (since late-teens). I love him yet feel trapped, like we got together too young.
We have no issues that justify ending a marriage. I’m sure we can get past this but sometimes I don’t want to.
I don’t know how to talk to him about this but he’s noticed my distance.
Is this a normal phase newly married people go through?

- Lost

Your restlessness is an alert to shake up yourself, not necessarily the marriage.
Try something new – job, course, fitness, or group activity – that changes your routine. Also, consider counselling.
Marrying may have affected your image of what the relationship should be and you need to explore why.

My grandson, 9, told me he doesn’t have friends at school.
He’s an only child whose parents have given him no structure, but any toys he wants to keep him “happy” while they run their home-based shop.
He’s lonely and acts the class clown. He said the kids won’t play with him because he has “germs” (not so).
It’s affected his school work throughout. He’s clever but lacks concentration.

- Worried Grandparent

Talk to the parents straightforwardly, without blame (which will turn them from listening): Their son is being bullied at school and it’s affecting his progress there. Suggest they see his teacher and school counsellor about it.
By opening this door to the situation, they’ll hopefully learn how their boy is suffering from loneliness.
Also, suggest getting him involved in an interest activity that will bring him into another group and engage his concentration. Stay involved; he needs your loving support.