I think I'm going to break up with my boyfriend of over three years, because of his addiction to the Pokémon Go game.
He’s ignored my needs in order to play the game. I've been sick, coughing and wheezing for the past week, but instead of staying by my side, he's out staring at his phone.
I didn't think I’d ever have to drill him about his priorities in life, but I guess I have to.
Before this addiction, I thought things were good for us.
He’s been a slowpoke when it comes to progressing our relationship, but I can be patient with that.
He used to be my darling, who could hypnotize me just with his eyes. Now I feel crabby whenever I look at his face.
Worse, I think he might’ve met a new girl through this game.
I haven't been able to catch him, but I have suspicions.
I'm not sure if I’m over-reacting.
Did he seal his fate by ignoring me, or should I give him another chance?
Even though the wildly popular game has captivated its players, is this really the issue, or part of your dissatisfaction with the slow pace of your relationship?
So far, you have no evidence of a “new girl.” If you believe he’s always pursuing the game with this one woman, it’s fair to ask questions (not accuse).
But after three years’ dating, you should know whether a commitment is understood between you, with a time-line for it to be discussed.
If you have no sense of that, then Pokémon Go is just another way for him to distract and avoid.
Yes, he should’ve been more attentive when you were sick.
But it’s the bigger issue about your relationship that needs attention now.
My boyfriend of two years and I broke up twice within a few months, but only for a brief period each time.
We’re since back together and everything’s been fantastic.
I eventually learned that he’d slept with two other people during our breakup.
But recently, I've discovered it was more than two women, through reading messages from friends on his Facebook.
He says he kept it from me not to hurt me, that he’s madly in love with me, has since grown up, and won't do anything like this again.
But I can't help feeling disgusted and lied to again.
The messages made my stomach turn just reading them. They were explicit when telling his friends about the girls with whom he’d been.
Is it another setback when things were going so well, we’re madly in love, and he’s always very good to me?
I'm 20 and he's 22.
It’s a big setback, one that should have you both pressing “Pause” on the relationship.
While dating someone else, even during a brief break isn’t that unusual, he behaved like he’d been cut loose from any loyalty or respect towards you, and could come back without any consequences.
He’s not ready for the mature love he claims to feel, and that you want.
His lies and the excuse of protecting you are unacceptable, after he’s been so flagrantly unfaithful and bragged to friends about it.
Recognize that your two breakups within a short time already was evidence of a rocky relationship.
You both need extended time on your own. You especially, need to know your own value, and that short bursts of being treated very well are not enough.
My boyfriend of several months and I have discussed wanting family life together in the future. We’re both mid-late 20s.
We’re from different cultures, but same religion, and both grew up here.
My family likes him.
But his parents, who like me as a person, are strongly against his dating a girl whose heritage is from a different country.
He’s close to his family. I don't want to come between them.
How can we best navigate this situation?
Go slow. Learn about each other’s family traditions. Show respect for each other’s history, holidays, special foods, etc.
If your relationship deepens, alert both sides of your feelings and intentions.
But first be certain that you can withstand any criticism and slights.
That’s the “navigation” required. And it often works for similarly “mixed” couples.
But be prepared that, when it doesn’t work, the ultimate decision is to either break up, or break off with close-minded family.
Tip of the day:
Any new “addiction” affects a relationship, but more so if there are already delays in commitment.